Okay so this is it, Ryan and I have committed to getting Ari to:
a) Sleep in his crib
b) Go to bed at a reasonable time for a 1 year old
and c) stop nursing constantly throughout the night
bye bye family bed - you were fun while you lasted. I will miss you a little but your time has come. I am still a huge support of the family bed (if it works for you) but understand that it is not for everyone. I think that the family bed helped me especially while I was working to connect, or rather re-connect with Ari after a long day at work and it kept my milk supply strong enough to nurse Ari for the year+ as I had desired.
So after reading a slew of books about how to wean your child, how to sleep train them, and so on and so forth - we have decided that with Ari we are going to try the "cry it out" approach -
Today is NIGHT #1
7:00pm-7:30pm -- Ari free play we did block and cars
7:30pm - upstairs for last nursing of the night and bath time
7:45pm - baby massage, books and song
8:12pm - I shut the door to my little ones room, and my heart broke....
I have read that the average for the first night is about an hour of crying.... Ari seems to be one of those "exceptions to the rule" so I am guessing this kid won't give up til day break
It's been 12 minutes and I can still hear him - man this stinks
Ryan is at a scouts meeting so I have to be strong - I don't want a five year old sleeping in my bed and its not going to get any easier tomorrow or a week from Thursday or next Friday ....be strong Joy ... man this stinks
I am glad that Ari has not started to call for me - his crys are just crys of anger at this time - it would really crush me if he were saying "mama, mama...."
We have to do it this time - we can not back down -
I love him -
I am a good mom. right? -
it's 8:30pm and I am feeling weak - how long can a pack meeting be???
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Friday, February 06, 2009
A seat with a view
Ari is hilarious- he loves commercials - TV shows, agh who cares, but when the commercials come on he literally STOPS whatever he is doing and runs into the family room to get a glimps that the ad. I have no idea how he knows the difference, especially when we watch shows that change sets, characters and such quickly (like Saturday Night Live for example) but there is no fooling Ari he knows a commercial - and he LOVES them
So here he is in his high chair during dinner, and oh wait - "Ari is there something you are trying to see, has something caught your eye perhaps???"
so whats the view from his high chair anyway?
you should have guessed
A mouth full of chompers
This is the best picture we could get to display Ari's teeth
He just doesn't like to show them off
But they are in there... TRUST ME
As of right now he has
four in front (top and bottom)
teeth in the back corners on top and bottom
so ..... that makes 12 teeth!!!!!
Eating Update
So we seem to be doing a little bit better at getting Ari to eat ....
He is still pretty much only eating baby food, (stage 2 &3)
But he is eating with less of a fight
Here he is eating his new favorite (he was never really one for cheerios, but yeah he seems to really like Jumbo Rice Crispies
what a handsome little guy
he is even getting pretty good at feeding himself with his spoons
good grub :)
He is still pretty much only eating baby food, (stage 2 &3)
But he is eating with less of a fight
Here he is eating his new favorite (he was never really one for cheerios, but yeah he seems to really like Jumbo Rice Crispies
what a handsome little guy
he is even getting pretty good at feeding himself with his spoons
good grub :)
My Cute little guy
Merry Christmas
I told you I had a lot of catching up to do - So here is a little Christmas recap. We were so excited for Ari's Christmas that we didn't take any pictures of any of the rest of us- oh well - he is the best looking of the bunch especially early in the morning. 
Flash Back
While we were at home my mom had me put Ari in this little outfit - it is straight out of the sixties - literally...
This outfit was actually given to my mom (I think by her mom) for my sister Jill - so its really old - and all of us kids have worn it- and now Ari has too...
This outfit was actually given to my mom (I think by her mom) for my sister Jill - so its really old - and all of us kids have worn it- and now Ari has too...
Are you kidding me ?!?!?!?
Poor Uncle Brandon, all he wanted to do was get some stuff done on his laptop.... maybe now he understands why I don't blog as often as I should!!!!!
What's in a Name
I had no doubt in my mind as soon as we knew we were having a boy, that his middle name would be Burton.
Ari, this is your Opa, Burton. He lives far away, but he is always close to our hearts. I named you after him so he will always be a part of you. There are many things I hope you get from your Opa..... (not just a name)
Your Opa is the hardest worker I have ever known. When he has a job to do, he does not put it off and he does not quit until it is finished (even if he really SHOULD take a break) I hope you inherit his work ethics.
Your Opa is very smart, he knows something about everything and somethings he knows EVERYTHING about. When I was little I remember him teaching me the state capitals and times tables. Your Opa is great at playing games - SkipBo, kings corners, cribbage- you name it he is up to play a hand a two.
Your Opa Burton has the best handwriting I have ever seen. It is so perfect and neat. It doesn't matter what he is writing, be it just a quick note to take to the store or a letter to family - his writing is always clean and neat, never sloppy. This is especially cool because he is left handed - and usually people who are left handed don't write so neatly. I hope you will always take your time in life and not be sloppy... no matter the task.
Your Opa is the best story teller EVER, I will try to do my best to tell you his stories - but I will know they won't be nearly as good. Fatt Johnny and Paul Bunyan and Babe the blue ox came alive to me every night your Opa told me a story. I hope you get his imagination and creativity.
Ari I know you are well suited for your name. I know you will be strong, honest, caring, eager, neat and intelligent - just like your Opa Burton.
Ari Burton Williams & Opa Burton 12/2008
It was so great to go home so my Dad could meet Ari
Burt and Lil' Burt will be best buds forever!!!
My boys......
Well they are my boys... in one way or another. We were so glad that Brandon could take a break from classes in Madison and come visit for a few days when we were back in Wisconsin- Here is our failed attempt at getting all my boys together for a picture....
My little (much bigger then I am) bro keeps reminding me that Berkelee is the 2nd dog I have "given" to my parents to care for --- It's only partially true, sure I brought home Brutus (but you do not argue with Papa Cal, and he told me to take him home) and it wasn't like they weren't aware that I was leaving for college in a few days when I brought home Brut....
so fun - Everyone loves Brandon
My little (much bigger then I am) bro keeps reminding me that Berkelee is the 2nd dog I have "given" to my parents to care for --- It's only partially true, sure I brought home Brutus (but you do not argue with Papa Cal, and he told me to take him home) and it wasn't like they weren't aware that I was leaving for college in a few days when I brought home Brut....
so fun - Everyone loves Brandon
Wisconsin trip
In December Ari and I took a trip back to Wisconsin (what were we thinking - it was freezing) I think they shouldn't leagally let anyone visit Wisconsin in the winter- it is just way to cold....
It was so nice though - Ari was so excited to see his puppy (well a MUCH fatter version, of his puppy)
Here is Ari braving the cold so he can get some snow play time - he wasn't that excited about it, I guess he was born to be a California boy (can't say I blame him)
It was so nice though - Ari was so excited to see his puppy (well a MUCH fatter version, of his puppy)
Here is Ari braving the cold so he can get some snow play time - he wasn't that excited about it, I guess he was born to be a California boy (can't say I blame him)
Catch up...
Okay I just realised how much catch up I need to do on our blog - so I am going to attempt to do a little catching up - please bare with me
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
AGH.....
So we were all set to start trying to wean Ari and get him to sleep in his own bed... and then what do you know he got sick - Ari is my healthy baby (not that I have any other babies to compare him to, But I pride myself with how fortunate we are that he has been so healthy- no ear infections, diaper rashes, food allergies, teething trouble, etc)
Aside from a few pretty minor sniffels and fevers Ari has been so healthy - he even sailed through his surgery and post op like a champ
ARI IS SICK
I might be overreacting because like I said - "we have an extremely healthy baby" I don't know how to take care of sick babies, or diaper rash.... etc
ARI IS SICK
It all started last Saturday, Ari started getting a runny nose..." could be teething, or allergies" we said to each other
Sunday he was horrible - snot nose, couldn't put him down, crying all the time, it was like someone had switched my baby the night before and I was now dealing with an entirely different person.... odd I tell you
Monday morning I woke up to hear my baby coughing - I immediately sat him up and started to tap his back - Ari thanked me by puking all over our bed
THANK GOODNESS THE PEDIATRICIAN DOES NOT TAKE MLK Jr. DAY OFF..
So we ran him over to the DR and got a perscription for ammoxacillian (sp?)
great I thought ten days, two doses a day - and we will be done with this -
OH except Ari won't take the medicine (he is so good with tylenol and such)
I tried every hold, position and trick in the book, blew in his mouth, plugged his nose - EVERYTHING
finally we asked a pharmacist if I could put the medicine in some yogurt - and that seems to be working although to make sure Ari actually gets all the medicine I now have to administer it to him 6 times a day (smaller doses)
BUT WAIT IT GETS BETTER
Ari has a diaper rash - and again - we have no experience in diaper rash so we really have no idea what we are doing - but we have tried it all - Balmex, cornstarch, vaseline, babypowder....
My baby screams at me every time I reach for the diapers- he pushes away from me so hard when I lay him down for a change .... he is in such pain and it is killing me
right now we are using Balmex after each diaper change, using a warm bowl of water and a cloth instead of wipes and letting Ari have an hour or two a day of diaper free time - which was so much easier when he was NOT mobile .... now its just real messy
OH WAIT THERE IS MORE
I am not sure if this is part of Ari being sick or a result of the medication BUT Ari seems to have diareha - which makes a diaper rash that much better I am sure... I am not really sure its actually diarreha since because Ari is sick he won't eat any thing (other then the small amount of yogurt I basically force down) so he is on a pretty much strickly breastfed diet AGAIN - (so much for weaning) so his poop is pretty much exactly what it was when he was a strictly breastfed baby ... We are making sure he is drinking alot to keep him hydrated
so who knows what is going on with our little boy - the ammoxicillian says its side effects could be diarehha and diaper rash so that might be our villian or they could be unrelated - what ever it is we have a really really unhappy little guy
OH I FORGOT IT IS EVEN BETTER THEN THAT
*** Ryan also has a bad sinus infection - so he is out of commission - and today I have had the worst upset stomach .... priceless
Aside from a few pretty minor sniffels and fevers Ari has been so healthy - he even sailed through his surgery and post op like a champ
ARI IS SICK
I might be overreacting because like I said - "we have an extremely healthy baby" I don't know how to take care of sick babies, or diaper rash.... etc
ARI IS SICK
It all started last Saturday, Ari started getting a runny nose..." could be teething, or allergies" we said to each other
Sunday he was horrible - snot nose, couldn't put him down, crying all the time, it was like someone had switched my baby the night before and I was now dealing with an entirely different person.... odd I tell you
Monday morning I woke up to hear my baby coughing - I immediately sat him up and started to tap his back - Ari thanked me by puking all over our bed
THANK GOODNESS THE PEDIATRICIAN DOES NOT TAKE MLK Jr. DAY OFF..
So we ran him over to the DR and got a perscription for ammoxacillian (sp?)
great I thought ten days, two doses a day - and we will be done with this -
OH except Ari won't take the medicine (he is so good with tylenol and such)
I tried every hold, position and trick in the book, blew in his mouth, plugged his nose - EVERYTHING
finally we asked a pharmacist if I could put the medicine in some yogurt - and that seems to be working although to make sure Ari actually gets all the medicine I now have to administer it to him 6 times a day (smaller doses)
BUT WAIT IT GETS BETTER
Ari has a diaper rash - and again - we have no experience in diaper rash so we really have no idea what we are doing - but we have tried it all - Balmex, cornstarch, vaseline, babypowder....
My baby screams at me every time I reach for the diapers- he pushes away from me so hard when I lay him down for a change .... he is in such pain and it is killing me
right now we are using Balmex after each diaper change, using a warm bowl of water and a cloth instead of wipes and letting Ari have an hour or two a day of diaper free time - which was so much easier when he was NOT mobile .... now its just real messy
OH WAIT THERE IS MORE
I am not sure if this is part of Ari being sick or a result of the medication BUT Ari seems to have diareha - which makes a diaper rash that much better I am sure... I am not really sure its actually diarreha since because Ari is sick he won't eat any thing (other then the small amount of yogurt I basically force down) so he is on a pretty much strickly breastfed diet AGAIN - (so much for weaning) so his poop is pretty much exactly what it was when he was a strictly breastfed baby ... We are making sure he is drinking alot to keep him hydrated
so who knows what is going on with our little boy - the ammoxicillian says its side effects could be diarehha and diaper rash so that might be our villian or they could be unrelated - what ever it is we have a really really unhappy little guy
OH I FORGOT IT IS EVEN BETTER THEN THAT
*** Ryan also has a bad sinus infection - so he is out of commission - and today I have had the worst upset stomach .... priceless
Monday, January 12, 2009
few and far between
posts may be few and far between for a while - I am attempting to wean Ari and get him to sleep in his own bed - so my days are full
just wait til you have kids .....
so this is what they mean -
I am a picky eater, anyone who knows me knows I am a picky eater.... I wouldn't say I am the pickiest eater (so I don't like ground meat, or really meat in general, and I won't eat chicken off the bone, or chicken that looks funny, I don't like chunky peanut butter, I don't eat seafood at all and I order a grilled cheese at In n Out) I hardly believe I am the World's Pickiest Eater ( oh but wouldn't it be nice to be the world's something even if it was pickiest eater... I should look into that)
ANYWAY ....
I was thinking about how when I was growing up, and probably you have all heard this at one time or another - how whenever you are displaying a possible character flaw, say being a picky eater... someone will say "just wait til you have kids"
people say it all the time- a little girl will talk back to her mom and in response her mom will say "just wait, someday you will have a little girl and she will be 10x's as sassy as you are to me...just wait" and on and on
all my life I have heard people say "just wait til you have kids" pretty much as a response to almost anything
here are some examples:
"I just love staying out til 3am, makes me feel ALIVE"
... "just wait til you have kids"
"sleeping in on Saturdays is awesome - I can stay in bed til 4pm"
..."just wait til you have kids"
"I could never leave the house without showering, putting on makeup, doing my hair, etc."
..."just wait til you have kids"
"I love to travel"
..."just wait til you have kids"
"$400 for a purse is reasonable"
..."just wait til you have kids"
okay so you get the point
BUT ALAS - I think I understand part of this whole - ..."just wait til you have kids"
threat-
I have always been a picky eater and what do you know - I got a picky litter eater in return
Since Ari turned 6 months I have been in a constant battle to get him to EAT - eat anything really
this kid got his first two teeth at 4 months and now he has 10 (that I know of) - chewing is not the issue (although at first I thought maybe it was)
Other moms talk about their babies being so excited for food, finishing the whole jar, crying for more.... NOT my Ari
I have tried everything, baby food, grown up food, feeding him, letting him feed himself, sitting in his high chair, TV on, TV off, sitting on my lap... airplane noises, train noises, making noises like I am enjoying the food way too much, even with holding nursing - EVERYTHING
sometimes he will eat, most times he will not
every once and a while he will eat up whatever we serve him (never a whole jar) and we will get excited and get him another helping- by the time we get back with his second course - well he is done
sometimes he will seem to like a particular food or flavor and we will have a streak of good luck where he might eat two meals in a row and so we will run out and purchase every jar the stores have in that particular flavor- just to return home, fix his next meal and have it rejected
I watch babies at chuch and envy their parents as they give them gold fish and cheerios and fruit snacks and watch the little ones gobble them up - I offer Ari a gold fish and he acts like I have handed him a turd (actually worse then I turd... atleast he tries to play with his turds....)
And don't even get me started with sippy cups - we have tried whole milk, white grape juice, apple juice, sunny delight, water, vanilla rice milk, etc and Ari is completely indifferent about them all ** all juice is watered down of course, what kind of mom do you think I am
We have tried soft sippys, hard sippys, sippys with straws, spill proof sippys, sippys that pour freely (what a mess!!!) bottles (even though it was against everything I believed it - I was desperate- I don't want Ari to wean from breast to bottle, I would rather he go breast to cup...but I am desperate)
No luck with the cups either ... I mean we can get a sip or two but again I watch these other babies drinking out of their cups and I wonder "whats it going to take"
Ari can eat.. he will eat chocolate, and cookies, and tapioca pudding
oh and he will drink - chocolate milk
so it seems I have a picky eater on my hands - guess its poetic justice
I am a picky eater, anyone who knows me knows I am a picky eater.... I wouldn't say I am the pickiest eater (so I don't like ground meat, or really meat in general, and I won't eat chicken off the bone, or chicken that looks funny, I don't like chunky peanut butter, I don't eat seafood at all and I order a grilled cheese at In n Out) I hardly believe I am the World's Pickiest Eater ( oh but wouldn't it be nice to be the world's something even if it was pickiest eater... I should look into that)
ANYWAY ....
I was thinking about how when I was growing up, and probably you have all heard this at one time or another - how whenever you are displaying a possible character flaw, say being a picky eater... someone will say "just wait til you have kids"
people say it all the time- a little girl will talk back to her mom and in response her mom will say "just wait, someday you will have a little girl and she will be 10x's as sassy as you are to me...just wait" and on and on
all my life I have heard people say "just wait til you have kids" pretty much as a response to almost anything
here are some examples:
"I just love staying out til 3am, makes me feel ALIVE"
... "just wait til you have kids"
"sleeping in on Saturdays is awesome - I can stay in bed til 4pm"
..."just wait til you have kids"
"I could never leave the house without showering, putting on makeup, doing my hair, etc."
..."just wait til you have kids"
"I love to travel"
..."just wait til you have kids"
"$400 for a purse is reasonable"
..."just wait til you have kids"
okay so you get the point
BUT ALAS - I think I understand part of this whole - ..."just wait til you have kids"
threat-
I have always been a picky eater and what do you know - I got a picky litter eater in return
Since Ari turned 6 months I have been in a constant battle to get him to EAT - eat anything really
this kid got his first two teeth at 4 months and now he has 10 (that I know of) - chewing is not the issue (although at first I thought maybe it was)
Other moms talk about their babies being so excited for food, finishing the whole jar, crying for more.... NOT my Ari
I have tried everything, baby food, grown up food, feeding him, letting him feed himself, sitting in his high chair, TV on, TV off, sitting on my lap... airplane noises, train noises, making noises like I am enjoying the food way too much, even with holding nursing - EVERYTHING
sometimes he will eat, most times he will not
every once and a while he will eat up whatever we serve him (never a whole jar) and we will get excited and get him another helping- by the time we get back with his second course - well he is done
sometimes he will seem to like a particular food or flavor and we will have a streak of good luck where he might eat two meals in a row and so we will run out and purchase every jar the stores have in that particular flavor- just to return home, fix his next meal and have it rejected
I watch babies at chuch and envy their parents as they give them gold fish and cheerios and fruit snacks and watch the little ones gobble them up - I offer Ari a gold fish and he acts like I have handed him a turd (actually worse then I turd... atleast he tries to play with his turds....)
And don't even get me started with sippy cups - we have tried whole milk, white grape juice, apple juice, sunny delight, water, vanilla rice milk, etc and Ari is completely indifferent about them all ** all juice is watered down of course, what kind of mom do you think I am
We have tried soft sippys, hard sippys, sippys with straws, spill proof sippys, sippys that pour freely (what a mess!!!) bottles (even though it was against everything I believed it - I was desperate- I don't want Ari to wean from breast to bottle, I would rather he go breast to cup...but I am desperate)
No luck with the cups either ... I mean we can get a sip or two but again I watch these other babies drinking out of their cups and I wonder "whats it going to take"
Ari can eat.. he will eat chocolate, and cookies, and tapioca pudding
oh and he will drink - chocolate milk
so it seems I have a picky eater on my hands - guess its poetic justice
Monday, December 08, 2008
SantaLand Diaries......
Ari got a chance to visit the big jolly guy from the North Pole the other day. He was so funny - everyone warned me that he would probably cry but nope not this little one - he loved every second of it.
Oh the magic of Christmas
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Homecoming
December 3rd, 2007 - We brought Ari home for the very 1st time....
December 3rd, 2008 - and there I was, bringing Ari home AGAIN
WHAT ?!?!?
SURPRISE (well to my family at least) - Ari and I jumped on a plane and flew home (well to my childhood home) to visit family. We were very sneaky about it and only Oma was in on the big surprise... (I wouldn't have told her either except I needed a lot of baby supplies to be ready and waiting for me when we got here and I needed a ride home from the airport)
So we left for Wisconsin yesterday at 4:00pm and arrived in wintery Milwaukee at 12:00am, needless to say it was a L O N G day. Ari was such a trooper on both flights... agh I truly am blessed
Oh and Ari wanted to thank Birthday Dog ( Oma, Opa, Grandma, Grandpa, Ernie, Carina, G.Grandma Palla, Uncle Sam, Melissa, Bethany and Robert) He got just about everything on his list which means Santa is going to have to get creative.....
Well I need to go back to bed - but more posts to follow with pictures from our adventures in this winter wonderland ( see I can say that cause back home in California its like eighty degrees)
December 3rd, 2008 - and there I was, bringing Ari home AGAIN
WHAT ?!?!?
SURPRISE (well to my family at least) - Ari and I jumped on a plane and flew home (well to my childhood home) to visit family. We were very sneaky about it and only Oma was in on the big surprise... (I wouldn't have told her either except I needed a lot of baby supplies to be ready and waiting for me when we got here and I needed a ride home from the airport)
So we left for Wisconsin yesterday at 4:00pm and arrived in wintery Milwaukee at 12:00am, needless to say it was a L O N G day. Ari was such a trooper on both flights... agh I truly am blessed
Oh and Ari wanted to thank Birthday Dog ( Oma, Opa, Grandma, Grandpa, Ernie, Carina, G.Grandma Palla, Uncle Sam, Melissa, Bethany and Robert) He got just about everything on his list which means Santa is going to have to get creative.....
Well I need to go back to bed - but more posts to follow with pictures from our adventures in this winter wonderland ( see I can say that cause back home in California its like eighty degrees)
Monday, December 01, 2008
Let the PARTY begin
Sorry if the last post bummed you out -
Have no fear Ari partied like a ROCK STAR today
Here he is for his birthday photo with his best friend Leo the Lion
By the time Grandpa Jeff came home Ari wasn't exactly feeling the Birthday Boy hat
WOW look at all his loot - somebody is VERY loved... Thank you, Oma & Opa, Uncle Sam, Bethany, Melissa & Robert, Carina & Ernie, Grandma & Grandpa and Great Grandma Palla
Ari dug right into his presents and was really excited for all the cars and the ride on toy - he got lots of toys that make noise.... (we are so thrilled )
I asked Ari what he wanted for a birthday cake and he decided on chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting - I made the cupcakes, and not to brag or anything but they were way better then Sprinkles
after cake and visiting with friends, playing with his new toys and running around with Grandpa... Ari passed out - like a true rock star
- When a child is born, so is a mother.....
thank you Ari for making me a mom, for filling my heart with so much love it feels like it is going to burst - each and every day -
I live to love you
Mom
Have no fear Ari partied like a ROCK STAR today
By the time Grandpa Jeff came home Ari wasn't exactly feeling the Birthday Boy hat 
WOW look at all his loot - somebody is VERY loved... Thank you, Oma & Opa, Uncle Sam, Bethany, Melissa & Robert, Carina & Ernie, Grandma & Grandpa and Great Grandma Palla 
Ari dug right into his presents and was really excited for all the cars and the ride on toy - he got lots of toys that make noise.... (we are so thrilled )
I asked Ari what he wanted for a birthday cake and he decided on chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting - I made the cupcakes, and not to brag or anything but they were way better then Sprinkles 
after cake and visiting with friends, playing with his new toys and running around with Grandpa... Ari passed out - like a true rock star
- When a child is born, so is a mother.....
thank you Ari for making me a mom, for filling my heart with so much love it feels like it is going to burst - each and every day -
I live to love you
Mom
Happy Birthday Ari
Ari turned one today... at exactly 11:09am Ari turned 1. I have known this day was going to come, I knew it would come long before I knew what color hair Ari would have, what his laugh would sound like, or what his favorite song would be... but it didn't make it any easier on me. My baby turned one today....
Don't misunderstand me - I am happy and excited, I am overwhelmed with happiness everyday thanks to this little man who has stolen my heart, BUT
I am sad
Dads don't understand, (I don't blame you Ryan) it is different for them, for Ryan Ari's first birthday is a milestone that means he is just that much closer to the day they can play catch in the back yard, go on bike rides, teach Ari how to golf- I get it and I am excited for those things too, BUT
for me today also meant I was one step closer from not having a baby anymore (Although in spirit Ari you will always be my baby) it may be just a baby step, but today was a step for Ari towards independence... A year ago when they placed him in my arms - he needed me - completely and today one year later - he needs me a little less
I know this is the plan and I can see the beauty in it - I know that the goal here is independence, and I am proud of Ari and Ryan and I for how far we have come in a year .... BUT forgive me for needing just this tiny moment to be sad
It went so fast, (and I know how cliche that sounds) I think back to all the people who warned me how fast it would go - and during the sleepless nights, and the constant feedings I foolishly rolled my eyes at them thinking
there was NO WAY this would go fast - but here I am knocked flat on my bum trying to figure out how in the world my six month old turned ONE
Don't misunderstand me - I am happy and excited, I am overwhelmed with happiness everyday thanks to this little man who has stolen my heart, BUT
I am sad
Dads don't understand, (I don't blame you Ryan) it is different for them, for Ryan Ari's first birthday is a milestone that means he is just that much closer to the day they can play catch in the back yard, go on bike rides, teach Ari how to golf- I get it and I am excited for those things too, BUT
for me today also meant I was one step closer from not having a baby anymore (Although in spirit Ari you will always be my baby) it may be just a baby step, but today was a step for Ari towards independence... A year ago when they placed him in my arms - he needed me - completely and today one year later - he needs me a little less
I know this is the plan and I can see the beauty in it - I know that the goal here is independence, and I am proud of Ari and Ryan and I for how far we have come in a year .... BUT forgive me for needing just this tiny moment to be sad
It went so fast, (and I know how cliche that sounds) I think back to all the people who warned me how fast it would go - and during the sleepless nights, and the constant feedings I foolishly rolled my eyes at them thinking
there was NO WAY this would go fast - but here I am knocked flat on my bum trying to figure out how in the world my six month old turned ONE
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