Parents Elect Controversial Facebook free Pregnancy

Parents Elect Controversial Facebook free Pregnancy

AP – Simi Valley, CA

A local couple has decided to have a Facebook free pregnancy, citing privacy and their unborn child’s right to choose as their main reasons for this less than traditional approach to pregnancy.  Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg couldn’t be reached for comment, however sources who claim they know exactly what Mark would say have responded in droves.

 Joe Reeves, an avid Facebook user with over 15,000 friends noted; “It’s totally irresponsible; with the technology we have today these parents should be ashamed of themselves. It’s that mother’s responsibility to keep their Facebook friends updated on things like Doctor appointments, uncomfortable body changes, and the miserable and joyous events surrounding this impending birth.”

“What gives these “parents” the right to shut the rest of the world out from their pregnancy, if you have a Facebook account, it’s in your user’s agreement- you are REQUIRED to share every mundane, boring, exciting, and/or private detail of your life- they are in direct violation and something should be done about it.” – Karen Kinsmoore, self-professed Facebook master and neighborhood gossip.

“Without the direct written consent of our soon to be born DAUGHTER, we felt we had no legal right to put any aspect of this pregnancy and upcoming birth on Facebook. Sure I would have loved to post a daily “ what the heck is going on with my body post” as well as monthly “I had to wait ____ long to see my Doctor, agh so frustrating”  not to mention the ever growing list of foods I cannot eat, and locations I have thrown up “ said future baby- momma Joy Williams.  

With their 3 year old son, Ari, already seeking the legal counsel of attorney Jeffery Williams regarding time outs and his bed time, the couple had a lot to think about.  Ryan Williams, the expectant father explained, “We really had to think, do we put ourselves out there and share our experience with the world of Facebook, risking an expensive settlement if baby GIRL Williams decides to seek legal action upon her arrival in MARCH.  We could be talking a lot of money, if this goes to dinner table court. We could end up having to buy her a BMW Z4 Roadster 6v Battery Powered Car, or worse a pony.” 

Supporters of the Facebook free pregnancy were also willing to show their support, @hasanopinionabouteverything tweeted “These parents should be heralded as forward thinking- I think deciding not to tell people the gender of the child and allowing the child to choose its own gender ID is an excellent parenting strategy…. What they’re having a girl, this isn’t about gender identity – it’s about not Facebooking their news the day that double line showed up, @#$#&; that’s just stupid, what are those parents thinking”.

Really we’re just lazy….

P.S. Do you think The Onion is hiring?